mandalic

well maybe its not so bad but its the kind of morning where you have to brush your teeth like 5 times, and drink a gallon of water and eat all the greasy meaty food you can get your hands on. my head doesn't really hurt, but I'm tired as shit.

i think that i need to start taking vitamins, i even feel like i'm treating my body like shit. we really need to go to bed at a decent hour more often than we do.

it's Friday, which is a good thing. i think i'm buying a car tonight which is even better.

i had a great time last night.

oh and: hatebot and i should definitely do the dvd marathon next weekend with kittydoom and xanderbott





Found these on You Tube this morning:


( Read more... )

I'm going. If anyone wants to join me let me know ASAP. Personally I don't want to drive, but I will. I dunno when tickets go on sale, but if you want to be sitting with me at the show we gotta get tickets at the same time.

fuck. yes.

So this whole time all I’ve been thinking about was the practical reasons why I am going to be doing this. Saving money, the fact that I already spend 90% of my time there, it’s closer to work. I didn’t even think about the fact that I’m going to be living there, with a boy. Like wow, and shit yanno? I’m going over there tonight to discuss details with him and the girl-person (it’s her house and all).

 

I have enough money to get a car this weekend as long as I can get to the car selling place. Then next week I’ll be going through all my shit and throwing out things I don’t use anymore (which is half of the crap I have), packing what’s left up, and then I can start moving in at the end of next week.

 

If someone has a truck I could borrow that would help immensely because I’d hate to have to make a ton of trips, or rent a truck.

So I used to always say that if I shaved my head I would get a tattoo on it. This of course was going to be under the contingency that I would be shaving my head if I got cancer or something. Well I ended up shaving parts of my head. So now I'm thinking about what I want. I was kind of thinking that a small one behind my ear might be cool, but then again if I get one on my scalp I could always cover it up when I have to grow my hair out and look "normal" again. I am really into the idea of vines and flowers.

I have other tattoos I've been thinking about as well. Conversations about Ralph Steadman over the past couple of weeks got me thinking, and I would love to get a piece of his on my body. I found a really cool one but I'm not sure where I would put it or how big I want it. Then there are still the tiger lilies I've been planning for the last 4 years.

This last weekend was fun, but there isn't much i can mention to the general public, so i won't. Much love to all those I was with though, best weekend I've had in a long time. <3

I'm really looking forward to possible future changes in my life. I don't know anything for sure yet, but I at least have getting my car to look forward to soon!

I'm kinda bored. I don't really have a lunch other than some snacks, but I don't really have an appetite anyways. I don't have a book with me. I already organized my cab to the airport. I already checked all my online stuff including webcomics. I also am pretty much ready to go work-wise for covering for tomorrow. There are a couple more things I need to do, but then it wouldn't give me as much to do after I clock back in if I did them now.

My roommate let me borrow her little suitcase thing, which is awesome. I still need to pack though. I was looking at the weather and the high tomorrow is 46 degrees, low is 32, and there might be snow. I wish I had a better coat. I have some cool jackets but nothing versatile enough to wear with anything, and I don't even have one that doesn't go past my waist.

I've been talking with the guy who got me my plane ticket, he is awesome!
He's in a  band and you all should go check them out:
 Machinegun Symphony




Other things-

and this:  http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Goth_macros

Okay so I'm having some stupid health things yet again. Nothing major or contagious though. I should have it taken care of by Friday too. I'll spare you all the details except to say that I feel out of it from medicine. Bleh.

So I've been listening to "Thrill Kill" by The Damned like constantly for the past few days. It makes me feel all squishy inside. It's a song I'm always going to associate with this time period and the people in my life right now.

I haven't been sleeping very well lately. Some thing keeps coming up each night. Last night it was my medicine. Then before that my schedule was all messed up from sleeping all day Sunday.

I'm definitely going to welcome the need to go to bed at like 8pm (or earlier depending on packing) Thursday night. Tonight I have to do laundry and get some things ready to go so I can pack them all up Thursday after work.

There have been some stupid things going on with work and stupid things going on with people I know and have met lately, but nothing major. Mostly I just wish people would 1) Know what they want 2) Tell me what they want and 3) Stop changing their minds

Going to Colorado Friday to meet up with Jack and his friends. They got me a plane ticket!!! I'll be leaving really early Friday morning and then returning Sunday evening. I can't wait to meet them all, I'm gonna have a really awesome weekend!

After work Thursday I will be going straight to bed so hopefully it will help me get up early.

I'm super fucking stoked, this was all just like a surprise this morning when I woke up, and we were figuring things out all day and now I'm gonna go to bed (albeit late) knowing I'm going to have a kick ass weekend.


I uploaded RotB photos. Sorry I didn't take many this time, but I think most of you know why I wasn't able to operate the camera(lol). Even tho there aren't photos of everything I wanted to say that I think the best times were the ones not fussing with taking photos.]

<3

Saturday was crazy. From what I've gathered a lot of us got really trashed. There are conversations I don't remember, but I do know I was incredibly friendly to everyone. There were even a few people a hit on. According to the people I've talked to I didn't do anything too bad. Some things I remember I am a little embarrassed about, but nothing a little avoidance won't fix. I have a huge blister on my finger where SOMEONE high-fived me/grabbed my hand, but it's funny. I'm not gonna go into the more riske' stuff that happened, but I will say there was no nakedness and I went home at the end of the night. That's not to say there wasn't the desire to do things, but we all had various plans on Sunday, I didn't know about mine at the time, but my roommates were looking out for me and made sure I just went home with them and I can hang out with whoever another time. I'm glad they did, because I woke up at 10am on Sunday, puked, and went back to bed with a migraine until 5pm.

That of course led me to not be able to sleep last night and I slept from like 3am-6/7am.

I don't feel so bad right now, but man it was a crazy weekend.

There is a chance I might be going out of town this weekend. Free plane ticket if it happens.

Right now I need to make lunch, so I leave you with this:

Went out to Snug Harbor last night and met up with friends, old and new! I had a great time but I knew I was gonna get drunk and go to bed late and feel like crap today. Went to bed at 2am.

Jack leaves today on his trip, which makes me sad, but I'm glad he is going to go have a good time.

Bout time for me to clock in. blahhhhhhh.

I had a dream last night about my [abusive] ex. It’s been 2 years since I’d last had any contact with him. I’ve had other boyfriends since, and have had other love since. I’ve grown up a lot and become so much more self-reliant. I don’t usually think about him much other than in passing, and definitely not with any active emotion. He is a shit-hole, and it doesn’t even seem like he really was in my life, like it all happened to someone else. It’s like his place in the world is that he was a phenomenal asshole, like Hitler or Stalin or Pol Pot or something. (“It’s a holiday in Cambodia”)

Been trying to figure the dream out. What do you all think?

This is a great version of  "World In My Eyes" by Depeche Mode:

Also are there any guys out there who would come and help me buy a car within the next week? Car salesmen treat single women differently.

Only having a small vending machine sized package of Oreos to eat all day, then getting "Friday-night" drunk on Tuesday night, then not getting enough sleep, then going to work at 8am the next day, and not realizing there are multiple meetings to go to, in which you should have some input on because it directly affects how you will do your job.

I think I did okay though. I just feel really really out of it, and hungry.
I have really got to budget out more money for food this pay check.

I literally have $0 until tomorrow. It's lame.

http://www.safenow.org

If you wanna see the mohawk go to Social Kink and make a profile, and check out my photos. I have a picture I took at lunch in my Default album, but you can only see it if you sign up for the site!

I am seriously considering some day getting a Sphynx cat. As ugly as they are, there still is something cute about them. Sure a regular cat might not freak other people out, but when have I ever cared about that?



I also want one of these:

I got to work really early. I've been over on this side of town since sometime after 7am. Went out with a friend last night and he drove me over here. We left really early expecting traffic, but there wasn't any, I guess it's too early for traffic. I suggested that we go get some breakfast, since there is a cute little 'old people' restaurant down the street. Unfortunately I didn't get cheese on my bacon and egg sandwich, I could also go for some jalapeños on it too, but that might make my tummy more upset (not that I drank THAT much last night  *shrug*).

I'd considered taking a nap before work because I barely got any sleep, but ah well too late now.

I am so glad it's Friday. I want to spend this whole evening doing nothing and being lazy and napping. Actually I just want that right now.

"Im all lost in the supermarket
I can no longer shop happily
I came in here for that special offer
A guaranteed personality"

I totally have a thing for skinny guys with glasses. Yep. No sense in denying it, not that I really have before, but I seriously can not help myself around sexy geeky boys. Yum.

Writing about exhibitionism is a lot harder than I thought, and I'm not stranger to it.

I've been listening to a lot of Ska today, and The Clash.

I should be getting a car within a month, which means road trip A.S.A.P.

This is a very interesting link: http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/manipulator/polypeople.shtml

by Annesthesia

so just to let everyone know, i have bad emotions sometimes. and sometimes i blog about them, but for the most part i will say what i mean when it needs to be said. so you don't have to take things i say so seriously. i'll be alright, just sometimes i'm not.

i used to have a blog once that was filled with bad things. i try not to do that here, but sometimes it happens.

thanks for everyone whos expressed concern or caring. i'm okay.

why am i up at 4am? this is so dumb. all i wanted was a good nights sleep.

for some reason i'm really tired. i got enough sleep last night i think, and i had a red bull this morning but right now i really just want to nap. ugh.

Good times.

Snug Harbor Friday, NoDa and shopping and hotel party Saturday , movies on Sunday- saw Cloverfield finally.

Nothing too exciting to report, or maybe I'm just too lazy.

Gonna go smoke now, it's lunch time. Hopefully it's warmed up a bit.

KMFDM- "Move On"

I have lived in Charlotte since August of 2005.
I didn’t start going out ANYWHERE until March 2006.
From March 2006- September 2007 I had a boyfriend who lived in the mountains.
During that time I attended up to 4 or 5 "Fetish Club"s with friends I met outside of the Charlotte “scene”.
I did not know anyone in the “scene”.
March 2007 I started working at where I WORK.
Through this I met more people over the last year. I don’t attend said fetish club anymore because it’s not worth the price.
As I go out to places I meet new people and for the most part I like everyone.
I have never had any drama with anyone that anyone knows.
My friends were all outside of this “scene”.
Now I’ve met and interacted with tons of people in said “scene” and spend time with people at parties, and work, and clubs, and bars and everything.
There are some major dramas that have happened before I came along.
There are tons of people who hate each other. Many of these people have mutual friends and everything seems to mixed-up as far as who dislikes or like who.
At many of these events and through different interactions I’ve heard enough drama and shit talk about everyone I’ve met in the last year.
I DON”T GIVE A FUCK.
I don’t play these games. I don’t care who did what to who. I don’t care who hates who. I don’t fight with people and I only argue with people I’m close to.
If you all have some insane fucked up stories about who screwed you or your best friend’s mom’s mailman’s niece over, I DON'T CARE.

I hear so much shit, and if I were as socially crappy as a lot of people seem to be then I could easily share this information. But I’m not like that. I will never be like that. Because I don’t personally care about any of your problems and drama.

If you all want to bitch and fight and kill each other have at it, but I’m not involved and I have no loyalties and it doesn’t matter to me in the slightest.

I will not get involved. End of story.

"They’re steam-cleaning the horses!"


(Skip to 8:55)

So I am really craving nachos. Not just chips and cheese but hardcore fucking nachos:

 

Beans, shredded beef, cheddar & pepper jack cheeses, lettuce, tomatos, green onions, sour cream, salsa, guacamole, jalapenos, and cilantro, all on a huge pile of blue and white corn chips.

 

I had brought lunch with me today that Jack made which was this awesome casserole we had for dinner last night, but I really want some nachos, there isn't any way i can get hardcore nachos, so I’m going to have to go to Taco Bell to satisfy my craving.

Just watched it. I cried. :(

I've been really bitchy lately. It's not all in my head. I have witnesses. (Dear Witnesses: I'm sorry).

I fluctuate from wanting tons of affection and sex and being all happy and bubbly and fun to being quiet, distant, cranky and in general, a shitty person to be around (I don’t even want to be around me).

In addition to my "regular" over-abundance of acne(all over my face, back and bum, and other body parts sometimes), I currently have some sort of acne-like rash all on my upper chest, and my forehead some, and my face is totally broken out and it hurts.

I haven’t noticed any change in weight or eating yet(clothes still fit the same), although I don’t think it’s been long enough yet. My eating habits have changed in the last month or so anyways with out the BC, I eat a lot more home cooked meals and meat than I used to. Surprisingly I’ve cut back on carbs some. I had lost 6-7 lbs since December, which was kinda nice. I’ll have to pay attention and see what happens now.

Little cramp twinges sometimes too, but that’s manageable. One thing I’m still deciding on, do I take the ring out and have a period, or do I just continue on with the next one and not have a period?

There have been people who have told me to just have my period, because it will be short anyway and its healthier. I would agree that it was healthier, if you know...I wasn't taking a synthetic hormone to offset the natural process my body should be having....



***Edit: i was looking up personal accounts and experiences with the nuva ring and i found this little tid-bit:

Also, the NuvaRing could cause behavioral side affects. My friend reported being extremely angry while on it. So much so that slightly annoying things, like foot tapping, made her completely, irrationally angry.

Vague:

So, something fun happened over the weekend. Wasn't really expecting it but I'm glad it happened. It wasn't how I thought this type of thing would come about, but I think that's okay.

Not that I've never done anything like this before, but this was the first time I was okay with it. I thought I would be, I wanted to be, but there were still doubts floating around. Now I don't have any more doubts. It's a good feeling. It means things will be good next time.

In other news I've been a bitch lately. I don't like it. I'm not normally this way. I'm really not. I'm sorry.

Happenings:
Jack and I went out Saturday night to Snug Harbor. It was the first time I'd ever been there. We watched some kinda crappy band from Oklahoma, who's members ended up being this group of bearded guys we were making cracks about and one guy who was trying to look like Elvis Costello. We met this girl who was standing in front of our booth who later sat down. We ended up talking and she bought the boy a beer. We hung out and talked and drank. The second band was fun and we all enjoyed them, not sure if it had something to do with the boozing. After the show we went to the Penguin and got more drinks. We hung out with some of the funniest gay guys ever. The girl and I made out and some guy came over and was saying he thought Jack felt left out. HA! Afterwards we drove to the girls place to...hang out... for a bit then we went home at like 5am.

Good times.

Hang-over day wasn't as fun. I made Jack watch Logan's Run, he liked it :)

Also I found this yesterday after researching and looking up silent movies:

1.Mandy

Slang for MDMA. "Mandy" is a powder form of the drug ecstacy. Is often preferred to ecstasy pills as MDMA is pure, whilst ecstasy pills are often adulterated. It is a popular drug amongst ravers and people who do not trust the purity of pills, and ecstasy in general has always been associated, often by the police and government, with the underground dance music scene.

Other slang names include "mud".

"Alrite mate, you got any Mandy for the mash-up tonight? If not I'll get some beans (pills)"

2.Mandy

the name of a gorgeous, successful woman. this is the nickname for the name Amanda which means worthy of love.

"Mandy has the most amazing body."

I made these for various reasons. they are funny. laugh. ha-ha.

I watched Land of the Dead last night with my Anarcho-Capitalist/Libertarian roommate and asked how money would be relevant in a post-apocalyptic society [where there is one major city run by Denis Hopper, no government, no gold to back the money, and a shit ton of zombies hanging around]

I got my test results back from my gyno.  I got tested for everything (gonnaherpesyphilaids) just to make sure, even though I didn't have any symptoms.

annnnnd......I'm clean yay! So that means that I can with certainty say that I have never ever had an STD.

Hey all you people with the nipple piercings(or anything else pierced). i was thinking of doing a passive protest against the TSA, and showing up at airports in just our undies, or fully naked if you have your bits pierced.

Their policy in the future is going to be that you have to show them your piercings, and I think it would send a big message if we had a bunch of pierced people show that we shouldn't be mistreated just because we're pierced.

if anyone is interested txt me at 980-253-6705.

The person you are trying to reach is not available. Please leave a message and she will get back to you as soon as she has recovered from the most hectic day of her life. Thanks and have a great day!

CUNT

Powered By Order Adult Toys

I left my phone at Jack's this morning :(
New Plan:

Go home with Jack tonight -regain calling/texting abilities-, and have a good time, cause I got paid.
(Yeah I know, it's way to early but at least ONE thing has to go good, right?)

• Get up in the morning with him, ride with him to work and then take the car.
• If there is enough time go get one of the rear windows fixed on his car (something or someone broke it last night).
• Drive over to Planned Parenthood and get the girly bits taken care of.
• Drive back to Jack's work so he can have the car to run errands.
• Drive over to my regular doctor to get checked out.
• Drive to the shop that my car has been at and give them the title of my car.
• Drive over to Apple Auto Sales and ask about what cars they have.
• Pick up Jack from work.
• Get ready to go out with his friend, and then possibly play pool, but definitely drink.

its 8pm and i want to sleep.

what's wrong with me?

c'mon friday hurry up!

I was able to make a doctors appointment for my back this Friday.

I have an appointment at Planned Parenthood at 11am, and then my regular doctor is at 3pm.

I figure after that I should be able to go by Apple Auto Sales and talk to them about what they have and what I will need to get a car.

The website says minimum $800 down. They use job history instead of credit, so that's why I'm going to them. You have  had your job for at least 11 months, and I definitely have that. The $800 might take a little to procure though. I can save up some, but I might have to wait until the government send me the tax money and that other money thing they are doing.

My back hurts a lot right now, and it's kinda scaring me. I really hope I don't end up having to have surgery. Ignoring the costs, I'm also afraid because its like right near my spine.

I can't sleep and I'm not really sure why. I'm plenty tired, and nothing exciting is going on, but it just isn't happening.

Other than doctor stuff I have to try to buy a car, and take care of other errands so I'm taking the whole day off Friday and borrowing the roommate's car.

The good news is I had my review today at work, and I got a raise, so that should help with paying for a car.

So I was just thinking, maybe it's TOO quiet here and I'm just not used to that now? Funny thing, my back hadn't really hurt when I wasn't sleeping in my bed.


The weekend-

Woo! Pay day is Friday, I can't wait, I have so much that I've been waiting on doing.

Battles- "Atlas"  was in season 2 episode 8.

Mandy:  "what with all the bizarre theories about emotional wavicles, and open relationships being the only enlightened choice"
Mandy: wavicles
Jack: the hell is a wavicle?
Mandy: some person was making fun of yoda people
Jack: is a wavicle a yoda?
Mandy: err
Mandy: yoGa
Jack: oh
Jack: right
Mandy: no
Jack: i was all, oh is that what species he is
Mandy: lol
Mandy: the Wavicles are Yoda's band
Mandy: Yoda and the Wavicles
Jack: haha
Jack: sounds like prog rock
Mandy: they do space-surf rock
Mandy: its about riding solar waves
Jack: most of the songs sound like "whoosh" or nothing at all
Jack: that whole sound not traveling through space thing
Mandy: yep
Mandy: except for explosions
Jack: as long as your having a giant space battle with lasers, sound in space is ok
Jack: theres an equation to work it out

"Chowking" (choking???)
and wtf is Chickenjoy and a Yumburger?