| mandalic ( @ 2008-04-24 13:21:00 |
| Current music: | Dead Kennedys- "Kill the Poor" |
Cellar Door
I had a dream last night about my [abusive] ex. It’s been 2 years since I’d last had any contact with him. I’ve had other boyfriends since, and have had other love since. I’ve grown up a lot and become so much more self-reliant. I don’t usually think about him much other than in passing, and definitely not with any active emotion. He is a shit-hole, and it doesn’t even seem like he really was in my life, like it all happened to someone else. It’s like his place in the world is that he was a phenomenal asshole, like Hitler or Stalin or Pol Pot or something. (“It’s a holiday in Cambodia”)
The dream featured me walking around a new town, it was very much like Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory mixed with Tim Burton(think the model town in Beetlejuice) mixed with the video for Coldplay’s song “Trouble”, and coming upon a trail in which bikes could go down. My ex was riding a bicycle, and passed by, as he passed we looked at each other and my jaw dropped and words tried to come out but none would, it was a mixture of confusion and shock. Was it really him? Did he see me? Should I run? He stopped and rode around the trail behind me (it was somewhat circular) and came back to me and we talked. I was very much on-guard, and didn’t know what to do. He looked like I remembered him when he was more attractive, skinnier, mohawk, black plugs in his ears, dirty rolled-up jeans, tight t-shirt, more tattoos though. He ended up being really nice, and apologized for things. He understood that I wasn’t going to believe him, but he still wanted to help me. There was something about building a tree house for people. So we were building things, and ended up having to rescue people or something, it had an element of Cloverfield to it also, and then the dream fades away after that. The biggest thing I remember was not that I felt love, not that I wanted love, but that I was so glad that he wasn’t an unreasonable cruel person anymore. Which honestly, that’s all I ever really expect from people.
Been trying to figure the dream out. What do you all think?
This is a great version of "World In My Eyes" by Depeche Mode:
Also are there any guys out there who would come and help me buy a car within the next week? Car salesmen treat single women differently.